This question has plagued me for years and has caused me to work hard for a position I could never achieve. At least not on my own. This blog with hopefully help not only me work through this question, and other like it, but hopefully others as well.
I grew up believing that as long as I could reach the expectations laid out for me as the eldest child, a student, a Christian, and even just a person, I would be happy and feel complete. However, I learned that those expectations weren't always realistic and in the end I was tired, hurting, and really at the end of my rope. Being at the end of the rope really caused me to look at myself in a different light, and not always a good one. You see I began to ask questions like: Am I enough? Am I ever going to be truly happy? Does anyone care that I'm hurting? Can anyone see me for me? Oh I had all the head knowledge that I had gained as a Christian. Oh I knew that God saw my hurts and my needs, but I couldn't figure out why I felt as though I was invisible to Him....to everyone for that matter.
I haven't had the easiest life, but I can tell you its been way easier than a lot of other people's. But my struggles and my hurts and the victories are what have defined me. They have caused me to begin searching myself, to break down walls, and begin to see life again, but that soul searching has also led me on a quest throughout the Word of God in order to answer those questions and hide that answer in my heart and hopefully help someone else find the answer
So Am I Enough? Better yet, Am I Good Enough?
The answer I found in short was no. I am not. Not alone. I am limited. I am human. And thus imperfect.
Have you ever felt like no matter what you do it's not enough? Yea me too. Even with the answer to the question I still try so hard to do all that I can to BE enough.
Philippians 4: 13 says: "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."
In science we learn that there are some reactions in chemicals or in experiments that need a push or a helping hand to achieve the end chemical equation or the looked for result. This push is also known as a catalyst. Well in this case we are the unfinished equation and the catalyst we need is Christ. We cannot be the finished element without Him. Now is the finished element perfect, yes because Christ is perfect. So does that make me perfect? Absolutely not. I wouldn't be anywhere near perfection without the catalyst, without Christ.
So was the first chemical (me) enough? Actually it was just enough so that the catalyst could work. I know this may seem kind of contradictory, but bear with me. You see the chemical itself was not enough to do the job that needed to be done. It was incomplete and thus not good enough. However, the reaction could not be complete if the chemical the catalyst mixed with was not enough concentrate or too much. So you had to have enough of the chemical and the catalyst for the reaction to become the equation.
What I learned through all of this was summed up in another bible verse: Ephesians 2:8 "For it is by grace you have been saved through faith- and this not from yourself it is the gift of God."
I, myself could never achieve the goal of being good enough for anything on my own. Only with the help of my perfect catalyst Jesus Christ could I ever been good enough or even close to good enough. And yet in my imperfection I was chosen to become enough to do the job set before me. But I'm not alone and I can't do it by myself, but I sure can do my very best with what I have been given and I have been given the very best. I've been given the love, joy, hope, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control to do every task because of my faith in my catalyst Jesus Christ.
So am I enough? No, not alone. But I'm just enough for the Lord to do his work in and through me. No matter where I am or what I've done or even been through. I'm just enough so that my catalyst can push me through to being perfect. It's not a fast process either. This catalyst takes its time and refines the chemicals to make it perfect.
